damn this cold weather lately
broken mask, a steel heart and a stubbon mind
apparently the sound of cracking bones
becomes beautifully resonates with one person’s monologue
its okay everything gonna be alright
the worst thing won’t happen
cos everything will be under your control
shaking trembling but you stand strong
even there is no sun to light my path
and the moon was beaten by heavy fogs
i will move on in darkness
i have this heart to be the most dependable guide
if loving a person could be so tiring
then it is not love, so i would cut the red string
let it floats in the air, and i fall into the distance
a peaceful heart, a still image, a soundless heart-palace.
i should have cover these ears from listening to unimportant talks
and also lock this mouth from spilling wasteful speeches.
as long as my eyes forever open, and i am aware of my surroundings,
i should be fine just close my ears, lock my mouth, and move on.
cannot move on without you
feel down, down, and down
it’s just pitiful to have such thought before:
that we would be happily ever after
tears running down
if i left you earlier
perhaps i wouldn’t crawl into my graveyard in such bitterness
the happiness and sadness thru years
i tried only to memorize the happy moments,
unfortunately the stream of sadness overflown
in the end i feel like i was made of tears and ashes.
however please don’t cry, no need to regret, and never self-blaming
impossible to be happy, but you can choose to be let it go
why all of sudden i fall into deep valley of sadness
the images of the departed persons fill my mind
they had done this, they had gone thru that, such thoughts
the sky above is far and away, i lay under the sheet of reluctance
the sea of regrets is borderless, abundant of ‘what if’ and ‘if only’
writing some names i would like to know more
drawing their smiles, greeting them in my dream
i want to, i need to know, how to constitute this conscience
in the end i end up weeping my tears over and over
and day goes by and by, a year, another year,
as i’ve seen the road, i can only walk according to the path beyond,
even with eyes closed, the heartbeat will calmly guide my footsteps.
how many reincarnation needed, to clean up bad karmas
therefore later i can meet you with a good impression, pure intention
even everyone in this world pointed their fingers on me,
i wished you would believe me, even without a proof, just believe this person, me.
but you didn’t. you give up on me.
i ever promised you won’t let you go for whatever reason,
but because of this, using this reason,
i let you give up on me. i didn’t beg you not to. i let you, so both of us could be free.
who is right, who is wrong, i do not want to identify this anymore
we live our life like this, we choose to be like this, we walk our own path til the end
eventually the path leads to separation, who knows it would be like this ? but it is not that bad.
i would rather you never weep for me, i would never weep for you
lets clean each other’s entangled fate, cut the red string,
many many years later, thru reincarnations, meeting you, may only good impression, pure intention.
three times you knocked my door, i give no reply.
three times i call your name, you obediently reply.
three times i pass thru your window, i don’t bother to greet.
three times you borrow me your umbrella, i let you drenched.
i am living all by myself, until i realize… you are,
the river flow carries my boat, the wind directs my ship,
the lighthouse guides my journeys, the flying petals decorated my funeral,
you are a faith i would die for.