ordinary life

assume you have a sum of money that enough for living quite a comfortable life,
but not self-indulgence.

and you have children, years later they grow up and married,
bring along your grandchildren, all is well.

and then because you have become old, you died peacefully while on your sleep.

while alive, lets say you never harm others
you helped others, but not in a saint or noble way,
you simply lived your life as ordinary people
peaceful, calm, without regrets.

when you wake up, either in a beautiful or painful place,
it just another lifetime-
or else, do not mention it.

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love thoughts

i love my thoughts on you, about you, all seems perfectly placed
you’re beautiful, i love you

i would like the thoughts never change,
but thoughts are the result of feelings, right?

and feelings come and go,
unlike the sun that always rises on the east and sets on the west

so, i’m sick of this love, because it depends too much on feelings.

who say love is crazy?
who say love is not rationale?

love should be logical
it should not from feelings, but understanding.

if we came to this world just to come back to heaven,
then i hope heaven would have nothing to offer me.

the fears

i should calm down
but i cannot

dear God,
i’ve seen their true colors
dark and rotten
no more blood drops,
all white as bones

i am afraid,
they will knock my door

dear God,
have mercy on me
don’t say it is only a trial
please say …

You’ll take them away from me
or else, just take me away from them

it doesn’t matter which one

dear God,
i try to hold Your hand
but these fingers frozen
have mercy, on me.

fears

how to tell, i am so afraid.

to whom ?

And I say to myself, “what to be afraid of?”

I came to this world without asking to come,

but I have been responsible enough to survive and harm no one,

when I leave this world, either old, sick, or by accident,

“afraid” is just an excuse not to let go.

to Buddha,

right or wrong is only a process of cause and effect

because of You, I am willing to keep breathing

should be … all is well.

May kindness be shared, compassion spread to all directions.

 

diary for ahimsa

so many people are different from me
they are okay to kill
they don’t know the real meaning of compassion
i am so afraid encountering them

i have to pretend
i am strong and have no problems interacting with them
inside, i want to run and hide
i hate being born in this society

although i know somewhere out there,
rather faraway from here,
there must be some people like me,
when will i be able to be surrounded by such people

control myself, i gotta control myself
someday i will leave this world
i don’t want to leave with fear and regret
i want to set this heart free, just dissolve and disappear.