questioning God.

1. gosh i don’t ask to be born in this world and You always said You got Your own reason and hope I will understand someday so just FOLLOW YOU and have a BIG FAITH on YOU…
2. i’m grateful thou of what i am now, at least some people in the other part of the world are worse than me and I realized my situation isn’t even near pitiful to them…
3. i think i am rather too late to realize no.2 but it’s better late than never
4. so everytime i feel not satisfied on how my life and the world should be, become angry or sad, i refer to point no. 2 and 3.
5. still i have a dream of having life like i want to be, living in a world i want to live in, but do not how to create it.
6. wisemen said to change them must started a change from within but the more i want to change myself, the more i feel “let it be”, “just accept it”, “go along with it”, and those thoughts that seems convince me that “please endure, please tolerate, and this is not too bad, just accept it”.
7. so it seems i’m living myself pretty calm, that somehow i identify it as stuck, because i have no really ambition in this life.
8. i’m not really wanting anything in this world, it seems i want to escape from this existence, thou i know such thing as afterlife is exist, not being extinct. you know, such idea as heaven, hell, reincarnation, and so on- such boring.
9. life is boring, despite there are so many fun and potential for them who seek and strive for it. it’s just life is truly boring because we are getting used to live life at the fullest since the day we’re born until we die. we know we gonna die someday, our parents, our children, friends, and everyone, a generation replaces the previous one and so on. where does the previous generation gone? your beliefs of after life, heaven, and hell are only proven by your own faith.
10. so this human being, life, universe, seems like watching a same movie, different faces, same characters, same storyline.

i don’t want to be remembered through ages either as hero or villain,
money, power, gold, offsprings, what are their meanings-
living comfortable life, luxurious, perpetual life, are also meaningless-
meeting Him, the almighthy God, maybe I’ll ask Him to rewind and change His mind right from the start.

why need reason to start all this creation.


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