i am happy to think if someday i could be really independent and alone.
you could be happier if there’s someone next to you, to care about you,
if someone really cares about me, is that mean i should also care for that person vice versa ?
if the answer is yes, then i prefer to care only myself.
if the answer is no, then that person can give that affection to someone else who wants it.
the feeling of being abandoned and left to die in pain until no longer feel anything,
is worse than being alone without having anything to feel and live for.
and the worst is when i cannot decide which side i’m gonna stand for.
but now, i love my choice of being alone and share no affections but to myself.
all of these times, i live my life for the others.
such a fool, disappointed after realizing they didn’t want it.
or perhaps i should be thankful,
by this way, i found a way to love myself as a whole.