in the middle of nowhere, the wind blows and i need to stand strong
in case my feet even cannot carry my own burden,
i break down and kneel, tremble and laying down,
wish there is a shelter to protect me until everything calms down
just like trying to survive among the debris of my dreams
sinking memories, trying to separate ego from this being
however i still wish at least my corpse could touch the land
how i really, really wish right now you are either save me or take me with you.
drawing your face
saw your handwriting
tears fall down
i smile as if you’re here
but even in dreams you’re gone
tears fall down
the conscience i refuse to forget
may tomorrow will be better
may my sorrow becomes answer
as if you’re standing there
watching over me.
a shadow won’t ever leave its master.
it will faithfully accompany its master to the graveyard.
so let’s stop worrying each other,
we’ll be fine, walking our separated ways.
a shadow would tell the differences between light and darkness,
it will clearly reflect our heart, follow us thru years.
so what if we are no longer walk together ?
we have our own shadow, no one can separate it from us.
only when there’s no light
only when there’s no darkness
the shadow disappear,
just like us.
some people aren’t meant to be together til the end,
lets say a short-lived beautiful fate.
just because we choose different ways.
doesn’t mean one of us is wrong and the other is right.
somehow everything is crying;
the wind, the monastery bells, the rain, the breaths
my crying heart stops,
bittersweet, but it’s getting plain day by day.
sometimes it is like stepping on thin ice lake
as thin as the heart easily broken into pieces
some evaporates, some back to frozen
holding my own palms, the only warmth
i don’t know how come the weather could be like this
as it reflects my insecure moment right now
to run deep into forest of devastation
or soar up onto the sky of ignorance
if recent hearsay is about people come and go
good or bad, let none left deep impression
when all hands folded, i open mine for myself
the only warmth that won’t betray.
i used to think, just let it be
everyday dealing with fools,
seeing those money-eater pigs,
i am clinging onto such words as “be patient”.
then i look back,
sum all my fears, having lost identities,
diminishing courages, hopeless future,
all of these years living under sheet of insecure.
today, i don’t care anymore
cannot care much about being a nice or a nasty person
i live only once, i do not want carry regrets into my graveyard,
i must stand up for myself, be my own shield, protector of my own karma.