i read somewhere
if you were kind, did a good thing to a person
she or he might not repay the same kindness
however life will surely treat you better.
don’t ask me why there are some persons won’t appreciate your kindness
but i think it is simply just a matter of a perspective,
you think you have helped them, sacrificed
but they just do not really need it, never took it seriously.
they said if you helped people,
must not even think about how they should repay you someday.
it is okay to feel not well fitted into the society
but you must never stop learning about patient, compassion
right or wrong, all is a process
whatever path you lead,
from the beginning to the ending,
hatred is the only path to avoid,
the rests are pretty safe as long as you hold compassion dearly.
who often offend your feelings, hurt your pride and such–
then try to be not easilty get offended by others, try to be down to earth and humble.
if this fails, try to think like this:
“maybe it is my bad karma, my past actions toward others might be just the same like them,
therefore i must not commit the same things toward anyone in this lifetime,
and most of all, i must not let them and their actions inhibit my mind,
let me unattached to anything related to them,
therefore in the future, in the next life, hopefully i won’t meet such people anymore.”
“i won’t hate those people,
i would try my best not to strike back,
by not letting myself interact with such people in that way,
hopefully all of us would be freed from hatred, and would be peace at mind and heart.
“i must not let wasting time to think about how their actions offended and hurted me,
since it happened in the past, let it remain in the past,
let my present-time feeling no longer has such worthless thoughts,
since i never plan to have them in my thoughts in the future.”
afterall, you might say everyone is equal,
but you should know, there are lots of things you must conduct first to claim your rights
and what matters most is everyone is not equal in term of moraility, virtue, wisdom,
the ones who “think” they have higher morality, virtue, and wisdom, should be freed from hatred, greed.
to the kind persons in my life.
of course, my parents.
well, also Buddha.
life companions …
and also …
thanking myself all these years
be able to avoid things that would be regretted later
be able to do things that would inspire me to do better
be able to never stop learning, always try to be honest and humble.
because life is just like a dream, isn’t it?
whether it is a good dream, a nightmare,
as some things not ours to take control,
all i have to do is treat this self properly, behave well.
in the end, i think, it doesn’t matter if you don’t achieve great things,
because life itself is great, as long as you live properly, grow compassion and sincerity
it is a blessing to all, not bringing disgrace to family and society, just live as it is,
may all beings be happy, be able to retain their happiness, be at peace.
if you really love a person, your existence beside that person is a proof of love.
correct that person’s misconduct, support that person’s efforts.
thru good and bad, to heaven and hell, you will accompany that person.
you treat that person as a part of you.
in this lifetime, how deep a fate needed to meet such person and be together til the end?
that is, if only that person worth it.
because you said it.
so i keep it in mind lightly…
so i listen to it.
feels so close to the hell’s gate.
right in front of it,
i feel no fear.
it has no adequate light,
it is cool but not cold
it is unbright but no dust, no dirt
it is gloom, but i’m calm
there is no sound, no any beings what-so-over
surrounded by unfamiliarities, tranquil and static
how long should i stay here
can i be forever, could not i leave as i like ?
i create an imaginary view through the chants,
i do not remember my previous lives, so i consider those are merely a belief
i do not expect a next life, if repetitive laughters and sadness keep occuring,
so, just here, in front of the hell’s gate is just fine.