let go ego ?

if you cannot let go ego,
at least feed it with less carcinogenic stuffs.

stop expecting others to repay kindness
stop convincing others how good are your intentions.

if you cannot present them a good image,
at least give yourself a chance to save your parents’ face.

stop asking understanding from others
stop acting as if you want to be noticed.

if people keep disappointing you, then they are not necessarily to be taken serious
some people meant to be befriended only with themselves, make peace in such way

start becoming someone worthy to yourself
if you cannot laugh, don’t cry, you’ll laugh later.
if you cannot smile, don’t be grumpy, you’ll smile later.
if you cannot be happy, don’t ruin others’ happiness, you’ll be happy eventually.
if you cannot love yourself, don’t hate others, you’ll feel love yourself eventually.

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sadness. overflow.

why am i like this ?
overtaken by sadness,
asking heaven when there would be another falling star
like the one i’d seen in my childhood.

when you have nothing but the only little faith
there is no right and wrong, there is only a process of cause and effect,
solely based on this, i traveled forever
hoping someday could stop the cause, strong enough turning sadness into understanding.

understand living in this world is to learn about sincerity and compassion.
understanding sincerity and compassion as the only thing my heart could be light on.

pitiful and miracle.

i am pitying myself because i am pitiful.

life is pitiful anyway, for those who failed to search for happiness and give up to.

actually my life isn’t pitiful because i never give up. note this, “giving up” is different from “letting go”.

i often let go of things once i feel suffer from clinging onto them. then, only by letting go, everything’s getting better. it works like that naturally.

back to the topic “pitiful”.

maybe no one have a pity on me, not because they are heartless, and also not because i am also not that pitiful, it’s just i don’t need a pity from anyone.

i did wrong, i regret. i commit wrongdoings, i try to correct them. if fail, i repent and do not repeat. i would accept the consequences, with or without tears, i understand whether in whatever state, pitiful or normal, i must guide myself thru this heart: think simple, clean, and sincere. have a compassion and be diligent.

lately situations got out of control. i dunno why friends less caring about me. there is a person who seems to spread that virus but whether this is truth or not, i cannot really control it.

first, because i have a conscience i did no wrong to all of them. but of course, i will more and more watch this mouth, action, and mind.

second, because i have lost my loved one, and one by one they would leave me someday. therefore, while my loved ones still there, why would i care about merely “friends” ? life and death are like that, naturally happens, we should cherish while can.

third, i often repeat this: right or wrong, it is only a process of cause and effect. so do not hate, control your mouth and anger, focus your mind and be calm.

cool.

but … i do believe in miracle. we deserve miracle because we have a good karma. like i have said before, as soon as you let go your heart burden, you will get a free space to fill it with good things, including a miracle.

miracle is not perfect, but they always could make you smile and grateful.

 

 

 

difficulties and compassion

i have my own difficulties,
and i have seen so many people shared their difficulties with their friends, family, and such.

however mostly were being told not as it was,
because in truth, there is no who’s right or wrong,
people are just people and words are only words.

i don’t need others to pity on me,
i don’t even consider their praises and blames are worthy,
because i will only tell the truth,
not who’s right or wrong.

who bothers whom is right or wrong ?
because to believe something is a truth,
is like living this life day by day in plain clothes,
there would be tears, sweats,
it would be torn, wet,
but surely, it won’t be soaked by others’ blood by ourselves.

somehow, by thinking like this,
i could smile lightly and difficulties are nothing.
in the end, it might be only compassion matters;
the best thing in this life.

hatred.

when you are angry
you lock yourself alone
not because you hate the outside world
you are just afraid to hurt more

because when you hurt so much
you will hate and poisoned your own mind
and eventually you will also suffer
therefore you just protect yourself first

in this world, there are still plenty of nice people
only few would have ill-intentions toward you
be strong first, if you want to be nice
so the hatred would not be present.

you would not be able to “not hating”
if you are not strong.
Hatred is a symbol of weakness,
for not being able to have an open heart.

my silence, my most time of being alone,
because i was surrounded by those who hates

lonely?

am i lonely ?
i am a loner for sure.
because there is no really a person could accompany me thru ups and downs of life,
from the beginning til the end, except myself.

but maybe it is just because,
i refuse to become that kind of person to someone else,
therefore no one could do the same to me as well.

eventually, the only thing that matters to me is,
i must take care myself nicely,
and never harm others.

while being nice and polite, sharing kindness and do charity might sound a reasonable way of life to walk thru this path til final breath.

be kind.

i read somewhere
if you were kind, did a good thing to a person
she or he might not repay the same kindness
however life will surely treat you better.

don’t ask me why there are some persons won’t appreciate your kindness
but i think it is simply just a matter of a perspective,
you think you have helped them, sacrificed
but they just do not really need it, never took it seriously.

they said if you helped people,
must not even think about how they should repay you someday.

it is okay to feel not well fitted into the society
but you must never stop learning about patient, compassion
right or wrong, all is a process

whatever path you lead,
from the beginning to the ending,
hatred is the only path to avoid,
the rests are pretty safe as long as you hold compassion dearly.