question about the beginning and the ending

here comes the flying train, takes away the fresh human meats, from horizons to horizons
hide myself underneath the earth but they won’t let any breath remains
but i am conscious, next time must put turn conscience off
so they won’t tear me into pieces

after many years passed, a decade, a century,
enough time to heal the pain and terror,
as if living in a dream and still dreaming about things we pleasure about
only to find out the future is nonetheless same old but brand new tragedy

close my ears, crying outloud with teary eyes,
maybe this observable universe is only as wide as our mind could reach
whatever has a beginning, must has an ending,
but how, if there’s only ending, would you bother about how it had all started ?

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dealing with aging

day by day i feel more and more parts of me diminishing

it’s my time on earth.

mother ever said that life is just like a dream
when i was child i thought it was just another beautiful poem about life-
but now i feel it is a real experience
because slowly i realize the things i used to fight for,
they don’t really matter.

like …
who’s right? who’s wrong?
that person hurt me, why ?
i will make that person pay-
this is mine, i shall have my share.
i don’t care about you,
you should just mind your own business…
you know … such things …

a monk ever said, isn’t life’s most beautiful thing is to breath ?
i used to think he’s just love to make things looks simple,
but apparently, i realize life is truly that simple,
be grateful to be alive, and cherish every lives.

if someone you knew well had taken thru the road,
either that person will wait for you at the end of the road or not,
even the strangest path, would be less unfamiliar with,
just because, you know everyone must walk thru that road,
and don’t bother to debate what’s next.

singing ghosts again

the ghosts are singing again, outloud.
it is kind of ironic, they know they’re ghosts, and for some reasons they stay at such forms,
and they keep spreading terrors, hatreds, creating suspicions and distrusts among living people.
they are forever ghosts, longing become the sacred people, white-robed, aiming greater than any saints.

oh,God. how could those ghosts praising You while bathing in blood ?
i don’t want to know the reason why You let them do that, as if ignoring everything.
as if letting people like me endure more, must have unlimited patience, forever silent-
tonight i sleep, tomorrow i might as if forget their songs, but they’re exist and would sing again.

forget to be grateful

so some people try to believe death is actually a happy thing as the dead would be reborn in heaven or something better realm
but it is just a new method to ease the left ones’ sadness, lift up their hopes and guide them to move on.
but to me, death is forever a sad thing, whether to be reborn in heaven or hell
but it’s a nature’s way, just like a joy when parents expecting their babies, as well as sadness being separated from loved ones.

happiness, sadness, are nothing.
some hasn’t seen true sadness, they can never be grateful so they kept complaining on life
some who had gone thru true sadness, forever live in happiness by being grateful
and for me, most times, i forget about this, thru my ignorance and foolishness.

until the end of life

until now i do not know, and i will never believe the truth if not witnessing it myself.

since it’s impossible to turn back time, be there on the spot, therefore i should not pursuing the truth anymore.

that my heart hurt, and still left a mark until now, however it is gone once i leave this world, so, this mark doesn’t mean a lot anymore.

that you might hate me, it was your choice, i don’t want to think about it.

that your heart might broken more into pieces than me, that you might blame yourself, i completely feel sorry for you, but, i tell you, all doesn’t matter once we leave this world and we should prepare for it.

the detailed things on “how could you”, and “did it has any other reasons behind”, even so, the result stayed the same. irreversible things were regretful, but how deep our understanding on them ?

the detailed other things such as, “since when”, and “did that really necessary”, also didn’t change the ending for whatever answers you gave me.

Born in the different place, different time; meet in a fateful situation, aimed to live for a lifetime commitment, but who could predict the ending, as nothing last forever. The ending gonna be, we died on different place, different time, same mourns.

Thru good and bad, ups and downs, I will only take the beautiful memories into my graveyard. And these beautiful memories would also die, along with me.

Therefore, just for a half life, it was enough for me to be thankful. If we do not like the ending, then only in dreams we could fix it. Reality is, nothing to fixed, life is just like that.

Not hoping for a miracle, just enough being grateful for the good things in the bad times.

 

farewell forever

cannot move on without you
feel down, down, and down
it’s just pitiful to have such thought before:
that we would be happily ever after

heart hurts
tears running down
if i left you earlier
perhaps i wouldn’t crawl into my graveyard in such bitterness

the happiness and sadness thru years
i tried only to memorize the happy moments,
unfortunately the stream of sadness overflown
in the end i feel like i was made of tears and ashes.

however please don’t cry, no need to regret, and never self-blaming
impossible to be happy, but you can choose to be let it go

good impression, pure intention.

how many reincarnation needed, to clean up bad karmas
therefore later i can meet you with a good impression, pure intention

even everyone in this world pointed their fingers on me,
i wished you would believe me, even without a proof, just believe this person, me.
but you didn’t. you give up on me.

i ever promised you won’t let you go for whatever reason,
but because of this, using this reason,
i let you give up on me. i didn’t beg you not to. i let you, so both of us could be free.

who is right, who is wrong, i do not want to identify this anymore
we live our life like this, we choose to be like this, we walk our own path til the end
eventually the path leads to separation, who knows it would be like this ? but it is not that bad.

i would rather you never weep for me, i would never weep for you
lets clean each other’s entangled fate, cut the red string,
many many years later, thru reincarnations, meeting you, may only good impression, pure intention.