singing ghosts again

the ghosts are singing again, outloud.
it is kind of ironic, they know they’re ghosts, and for some reasons they stay at such forms,
and they keep spreading terrors, hatreds, creating suspicions and distrusts among living people.
they are forever ghosts, longing become the sacred people, white-robed, aiming greater than any saints.

oh,God. how could those ghosts praising You while bathing in blood ?
i don’t want to know the reason why You let them do that, as if ignoring everything.
as if letting people like me endure more, must have unlimited patience, forever silent-
tonight i sleep, tomorrow i might as if forget their songs, but they’re exist and would sing again.


do not think too much!

they said i am a weirdo, bit of lunatic, not pretty, and else.

i am not a weirdo, i just refuse to follow them because i am fine following my own lead.

i am not a lunatic, i can differ reality and fantasy clearly: -that one day we all must die- is a reality, and -wishing things would run as we pray for- is a fantasy.

i am not pretty, but i take care myself so far so good;

i never commit sins, murder, steal, fraud, and such. i never indulge myself in drugs, alcohol, and such. i live myself simple, aim to be plain, and be responsible of every steps i take.

therefore, i am indifferent, ignore their sayings.

there will be times i feel like want to be a bad person, because people treat me bad,

but i won’t follow their dirty footsteps, they are fools.

i won’t hate, among they who hate.

wisemen said, there is no right and wrong, all is a process, there is only cause and effect.



Thanks God

thanks god, i overheard him.
thanks god, i act as nothing wrong.
thanks god, i detach myself easier.
thanks god, i accept changes.

for years i thought you woudn’t change
rumors said you have changed
i prepared myself for the worse
and now i’m seeing it is starting to go as the rumors say

so i’m seeing myself take a distance away,
beyond my eyes, seeing your diminishing shadow,
my steps lighter, because i know we both will be okay,
love is universal.


why do you stand there ?
refuse to come to me ?
is it better there ?
am i standing on a pitiful place ?

no matter how many white clouds up on the sky
i guess the dark night paint them all black
if to cry, eyes turn red, sky turns blood
God is one, but He is like two-faced coin.

getting used to believe He is good, all good.
there will be times I believe I am wrong.

It is not about good or bad,
it is about deserve or not deserve.

she is crying inside, no matter how he is trying to cheer her up
his sounds are just like that penetrates the concrete walls.

questioning God.

1. gosh i don’t ask to be born in this world and You always said You got Your own reason and hope I will understand someday so just FOLLOW YOU and have a BIG FAITH on YOU…
2. i’m grateful thou of what i am now, at least some people in the other part of the world are worse than me and I realized my situation isn’t even near pitiful to them…
3. i think i am rather too late to realize no.2 but it’s better late than never
4. so everytime i feel not satisfied on how my life and the world should be, become angry or sad, i refer to point no. 2 and 3.
5. still i have a dream of having life like i want to be, living in a world i want to live in, but do not how to create it.
6. wisemen said to change them must started a change from within but the more i want to change myself, the more i feel “let it be”, “just accept it”, “go along with it”, and those thoughts that seems convince me that “please endure, please tolerate, and this is not too bad, just accept it”.
7. so it seems i’m living myself pretty calm, that somehow i identify it as stuck, because i have no really ambition in this life.
8. i’m not really wanting anything in this world, it seems i want to escape from this existence, thou i know such thing as afterlife is exist, not being extinct. you know, such idea as heaven, hell, reincarnation, and so on- such boring.
9. life is boring, despite there are so many fun and potential for them who seek and strive for it. it’s just life is truly boring because we are getting used to live life at the fullest since the day we’re born until we die. we know we gonna die someday, our parents, our children, friends, and everyone, a generation replaces the previous one and so on. where does the previous generation gone? your beliefs of after life, heaven, and hell are only proven by your own faith.
10. so this human being, life, universe, seems like watching a same movie, different faces, same characters, same storyline.

i don’t want to be remembered through ages either as hero or villain,
money, power, gold, offsprings, what are their meanings-
living comfortable life, luxurious, perpetual life, are also meaningless-
meeting Him, the almighthy God, maybe I’ll ask Him to rewind and change His mind right from the start.

why need reason to start all this creation.

dear God~for him.

dear god,
he believes you,
while i’m rather agnostic.
i do wish from this bottom of heart,
hopefully you will help him-
deal with troubles,
overcome hardships.

because i longed for kindness,
in this earth where such things are becoming rare
day by day i hide in the darkness,
cling onto my fear and sadness,
as people could be heartless,
and you seem to do nothing to stop them from sins.

dear god,
i can only pray for him,
from afar,
and if the sky falls,
darkness stumble upon us all,
just let me hide in the darkness
until the day my fear and sadness lift up,
threading destiny from fated path,
life is short.

I made this for a person who truly religious and no fanatic, but he’s often being slandered in his way to serve truth and justice. Guess people’s heart could be so dark until they cannot differ light from darkness.