heaven

a place

the old vent system was as noisy as usual
but i missed it, that time when we’re young
i pictured the sky in sephia color
time passes that fast, everything feels like a dream

can i ask nothing but just turn into a dust ?
and then disappear, into particles, unseen and unexisted
for the reason, if i cannot stand the burden
as if carrying the world on my shoulder

if there is heaven for they who believe
and cling onto their unyielding faith
the paradise that suits everyone’s ideal
then, is it really my place ?

if emptiness is not an option
thus i cannot comprehend my journey
then at least, there would be always
circumstances lead me to become the wind

lightly blows, carefully conveying news
disappear easily, arise if everything is set
what is self indulgence ?
if there is no shelter in this self existence ?

become or not become

it is not i don’t care
as if caring is attaching my ego to you

it is not as if i want to be unexisted
would left an impression i don’t care

it’s not i am not without desire
but desires are strong and weak at both time

this unthinkable, ubreakable, limitless mystery
maybe just like running in a circle in a maze
a maze i created for myself yet got lost in it

perhaps, if ever, i was once in heaven
got bored and made this maze
troubled myself again and again

longing for heaven, but unable to come back
which road the fastest, without drinking water of forgetfulness ?
once if heaven, how long would i want stay? if there is still time in there

how could i swim into the ocean without getting all wet ?
how could i become a lotus in murky pond staying unstained ?

how could i not become, how could there won’t be this self ?
therefore, it would be great, if this self turn into selfless wind
blows, rises, falls, settles, whirls, ever so light, ever so free.

what to be afraid of ?

if the ending is truly beautiful
more than as promised, more than as witnessed in dreams
what to be afraid of,
with a ripped skin, crushed bones, blood turns into sands
i would not let go this heart, a heart full of hope

however, the beautiful ending is just another
round of reincarnation, on its best and stable peak
therefore, with a ripped skin, crushed bones, blood sands,
i would empty the heart, so it’d be much painless.

what to be afraid of,
for one only sees one universal color ?

love thoughts

i love my thoughts on you, about you, all seems perfectly placed
you’re beautiful, i love you

i would like the thoughts never change,
but thoughts are the result of feelings, right?

and feelings come and go,
unlike the sun that always rises on the east and sets on the west

so, i’m sick of this love, because it depends too much on feelings.

who say love is crazy?
who say love is not rationale?

love should be logical
it should not from feelings, but understanding.

if we came to this world just to come back to heaven,
then i hope heaven would have nothing to offer me.

behind the door

have you ever see …
a god praying to gods ?

it’ s all started with the way he closed his eyes
and burning the incense sincerily
kneel down and bend over
as if the gods really would hear his prayer

since then, i often look at the sky
i want to disappear in the air
become the static air around the candles
make sure his way always enlightened

for a creature like me, dwells behind the door,
only wish for kind-hearted persons stay kind-hearted til the end.

dream and awake

there is a dark river, the darkest color of black
you cannot measure its depth, cannot feel the tides
a long river, don’t bother to see where it starts or ends
not too wide, but if you do not fast enough sail across it,
it might take another lifetime to reach the other shore.

there is a boat to carry its passenger,
the size is only for two people, but has quite spacious unused space
the old man is a sea serpent wearing stray hat, you cannot see the eyes
on the middle of the river, the old man will suddenly vanish with the paddles-
and you would think whether should or should not using your hands to row the boat

the image of thousand hands try to reach you beneath the water level
the image of drowning body into the abyss
the image of empty boat

i raise my head, the sky is as dark as the river, no line on the horizons
i look back, a place i feel i should leave it anyway,
i look at the opposite side, a familiar place awaits.

as my voice was swallowed by the darkness
little by little i feel the wind blows and the light comes
close my eyes, i fall into another dream again.

About Us

i only remember smiles, without face
forever forgotten, today is also changing
through love and pain, i only remember smiles,
for all the wasted years, and years left to live on.

do you remember ?
the day our eyes first met,
we laughed so freely
exchanging smiles
we walked our different path

ten years passed,
our eyes met, soon look at somewhere else,
we smile as we walk to opposite direction,
thanking heaven taking care each of us safe and sound up til now
sighing, biting lips,
believing in the other part of this world
there are also people like us who are able to
walking together hand-in-hand toward same direction
taking same path, sharing kindness
may heaven protects them all the way.

compromising happiness
belated regrets

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