sometimes i will feel whenever talk to someone, it always lead to a fight. war of words, argues, and such hurtful comments, distrubing thoughts.
so i prefer to avoid having a conversation with that person, choose to lock the mouth and listening to songs through a headphone.
but if a must to engage in such conversation, prefer to act stupid, know nothing, carefree.
by this way, i think my lifespan won’t be shortened.
sometimes i feel insecure being stared by someone stranger, or someone i dislike.
i dislike that person because the character of the person is not sincere, unclean thoughts.
how do i know, because i feel and it is my personal intuition, no one will understand
therefore i choose to pretend not noticing that kind of stare, guard my eyes only focusing myself.
there are a lot of things i would like to do, but all failed to happen because i was too hesitate
and i always said to myself, “because they don’t really matters, they don’t have the urgency”.
and so day goes by like that, so many things i haven’t done, yet i don’t set them as crucial,
i measure my life quality by setting a standard of what “being in peaceful” meaning.
so i am imagining myself in a room, laying on the white floor, surrounded by white walls
outside this room is the abundant memories of my life, experiences and thoughts,
eventually i must ready for this separation, my hands carry nothing, the body sinked in numerous journeys
like a wind flies to numerous direction, like a flow of river to the ocean, like the waves swept the debris to the shore, like the turbulence of water drowns the ship, like the rain falls to the sea, like the air under the sky.