question about the beginning and the ending

here comes the flying train, takes away the fresh human meats, from horizons to horizons
hide myself underneath the earth but they won’t let any breath remains
but i am conscious, next time must put turn conscience off
so they won’t tear me into pieces

after many years passed, a decade, a century,
enough time to heal the pain and terror,
as if living in a dream and still dreaming about things we pleasure about
only to find out the future is nonetheless same old but brand new tragedy

close my ears, crying outloud with teary eyes,
maybe this observable universe is only as wide as our mind could reach
whatever has a beginning, must has an ending,
but how, if there’s only ending, would you bother about how it had all started ?

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good impression, pure intention.

how many reincarnation needed, to clean up bad karmas
therefore later i can meet you with a good impression, pure intention

even everyone in this world pointed their fingers on me,
i wished you would believe me, even without a proof, just believe this person, me.
but you didn’t. you give up on me.

i ever promised you won’t let you go for whatever reason,
but because of this, using this reason,
i let you give up on me. i didn’t beg you not to. i let you, so both of us could be free.

who is right, who is wrong, i do not want to identify this anymore
we live our life like this, we choose to be like this, we walk our own path til the end
eventually the path leads to separation, who knows it would be like this ? but it is not that bad.

i would rather you never weep for me, i would never weep for you
lets clean each other’s entangled fate, cut the red string,
many many years later, thru reincarnations, meeting you, may only good impression, pure intention.

 

 

 

 

one life.

sometimes i will feel whenever talk to someone, it always lead to a fight. war of words, argues, and such hurtful comments, distrubing thoughts.
so i prefer to avoid having a conversation with that person, choose to lock the mouth and listening to songs through a headphone.
but if a must to engage in such conversation, prefer to act stupid, know nothing, carefree.
by this way, i think my lifespan won’t be shortened.

sometimes i feel insecure being stared by someone stranger, or someone i dislike.
i dislike that person because the character of the person is not sincere, unclean thoughts.
how do i know, because i feel and it is my personal intuition, no one will understand
therefore i choose to pretend not noticing that kind of stare, guard my eyes only focusing myself.

there are a lot of things i would like to do, but all failed to happen because i was too hesitate
and i always said to myself, “because they don’t really matters, they don’t have the urgency”.
and so day goes by like that, so many things i haven’t done, yet i don’t set them as crucial,
i measure my life quality by setting a standard of what “being in peaceful” meaning.

so i am imagining myself in a room, laying on the white floor, surrounded by white walls
outside this room is the abundant memories of my life, experiences and thoughts,
eventually i must ready for this separation, my hands carry nothing, the body sinked in numerous journeys
like a wind flies to numerous direction, like a flow of river to the ocean, like the waves swept the debris to the shore, like the turbulence of water drowns the ship, like the rain falls to the sea, like the air under the sky.

people. people.

the last 1,000 years ago
and the next 1,000 years ahead
the grey sky always pours its rains
the wind blows across sea and mountains

i am at this moment now,
just like a people in the past
and so a people in the future
people come and go, nothing stays

the strong earth would eventually lost
because its people won’t last forever
rays of light escapes and settles
creating darkness, lighting hopes

where do you take it, dear wind of life,
when you blow the fire and it flies with you

petals in the wind

you always console others, help them go thru their hard times
but when you fall into the same dark pit, knowing no one will do the same to you,
you embrace yourself tightly, adapt to the cold and pain, inhale the sorrows, exhale the despairs
that’s right. you are that kind of person. and you can manage everything well.

because you never hate, no matter you dislike
you never love, no matter you like
you never leave, no matter how far
most of all, you never fall to the ground,
won’t drown into the sea,
because you are always riding the wind.

be kind.

i read somewhere
if you were kind, did a good thing to a person
she or he might not repay the same kindness
however life will surely treat you better.

don’t ask me why there are some persons won’t appreciate your kindness
but i think it is simply just a matter of a perspective,
you think you have helped them, sacrificed
but they just do not really need it, never took it seriously.

they said if you helped people,
must not even think about how they should repay you someday.

it is okay to feel not well fitted into the society
but you must never stop learning about patient, compassion
right or wrong, all is a process

whatever path you lead,
from the beginning to the ending,
hatred is the only path to avoid,
the rests are pretty safe as long as you hold compassion dearly.

laments.

i used to write down the things i hate at the office.
as far as i remember most related to those uncooperative colleagues,
some were my own undisciplined character, made my tasks completed with flaws.
but to think it over, all my problems as above, the things i hate, are not important now.

because it all happened in the past, let it be. i’m just fine right now.

when i was a little kid, my mom often said this phrase “this is life”
now i can understand what was actually she talked about,
the matters of life, being born, live a life, becoming old, sick, and die,
paths taken, with all the experiences, tears, joy, until the end.

seeing the babies born
seeing the oldies passed away
seeing the youngsters with blissful or wasteful youth
under this same old empty sky…

i used to say, i want to become the wind,
but now i want to become an air,
because it is unseen, cannot be felt,
just fill the emptiness with nothingness.

listening to old songs
feels like yesterday’s newly released
i miss those times
feels like the future parly reversed.