let go ego ?

if you cannot let go ego,
at least feed it with less carcinogenic stuffs.

stop expecting others to repay kindness
stop convincing others how good are your intentions.

if you cannot present them a good image,
at least give yourself a chance to save your parents’ face.

stop asking understanding from others
stop acting as if you want to be noticed.

if people keep disappointing you, then they are not necessarily to be taken serious
some people meant to be befriended only with themselves, make peace in such way

start becoming someone worthy to yourself
if you cannot laugh, don’t cry, you’ll laugh later.
if you cannot smile, don’t be grumpy, you’ll smile later.
if you cannot be happy, don’t ruin others’ happiness, you’ll be happy eventually.
if you cannot love yourself, don’t hate others, you’ll feel love yourself eventually.


just some quotes

no matter how hard you try to convince them, the grass always greener on the other side in the eyes of the ungrafeful people.

there are two types of people who won’t be grateful to your kindness:
1. they do not need it
2. they do not need it from you.

you can throw tantrums, but in the end you pick them up yourself.

once i found out one’s true color is a trash, there will be only two options dealing with that person:
1. deal and incinerate it
2. no deal and let it rotten.

one life.

sometimes i will feel whenever talk to someone, it always lead to a fight. war of words, argues, and such hurtful comments, distrubing thoughts.
so i prefer to avoid having a conversation with that person, choose to lock the mouth and listening to songs through a headphone.
but if a must to engage in such conversation, prefer to act stupid, know nothing, carefree.
by this way, i think my lifespan won’t be shortened.

sometimes i feel insecure being stared by someone stranger, or someone i dislike.
i dislike that person because the character of the person is not sincere, unclean thoughts.
how do i know, because i feel and it is my personal intuition, no one will understand
therefore i choose to pretend not noticing that kind of stare, guard my eyes only focusing myself.

there are a lot of things i would like to do, but all failed to happen because i was too hesitate
and i always said to myself, “because they don’t really matters, they don’t have the urgency”.
and so day goes by like that, so many things i haven’t done, yet i don’t set them as crucial,
i measure my life quality by setting a standard of what “being in peaceful” meaning.

so i am imagining myself in a room, laying on the white floor, surrounded by white walls
outside this room is the abundant memories of my life, experiences and thoughts,
eventually i must ready for this separation, my hands carry nothing, the body sinked in numerous journeys
like a wind flies to numerous direction, like a flow of river to the ocean, like the waves swept the debris to the shore, like the turbulence of water drowns the ship, like the rain falls to the sea, like the air under the sky.

do not think too much!

they said i am a weirdo, bit of lunatic, not pretty, and else.

i am not a weirdo, i just refuse to follow them because i am fine following my own lead.

i am not a lunatic, i can differ reality and fantasy clearly: -that one day we all must die- is a reality, and -wishing things would run as we pray for- is a fantasy.

i am not pretty, but i take care myself so far so good;

i never commit sins, murder, steal, fraud, and such. i never indulge myself in drugs, alcohol, and such. i live myself simple, aim to be plain, and be responsible of every steps i take.

therefore, i am indifferent, ignore their sayings.

there will be times i feel like want to be a bad person, because people treat me bad,

but i won’t follow their dirty footsteps, they are fools.

i won’t hate, among they who hate.

wisemen said, there is no right and wrong, all is a process, there is only cause and effect.



it’s hard to be sincere.

i think it over and over,
have you ever really treat me good ?
just because you don’t hit me, don’t kill me,
so i should consider you have treated me good ?

i keep thinking about it,
it is me who always sacrifice for you
even a thank from your mouth is rare,
when i need a help you refuse to help.

anyway, thanks
i become so much independent now
but i cannot
let you use me anymore.

in the end, all of us would be separated
just a matter of time,
so i am learning it from now as well,
to live really, really alone, independent.

and the most important thing i’ve learnt is,
if you cannot help a person sincerely, then don’t
just stop it, just be sorry of it, leave it.
in case you want to help, do it with a sincere heart
so when you’re not getting a repay, your heart won’t hurt.

difficulties and compassion

i have my own difficulties,
and i have seen so many people shared their difficulties with their friends, family, and such.

however mostly were being told not as it was,
because in truth, there is no who’s right or wrong,
people are just people and words are only words.

i don’t need others to pity on me,
i don’t even consider their praises and blames are worthy,
because i will only tell the truth,
not who’s right or wrong.

who bothers whom is right or wrong ?
because to believe something is a truth,
is like living this life day by day in plain clothes,
there would be tears, sweats,
it would be torn, wet,
but surely, it won’t be soaked by others’ blood by ourselves.

somehow, by thinking like this,
i could smile lightly and difficulties are nothing.
in the end, it might be only compassion matters;
the best thing in this life.


when you are angry
you lock yourself alone
not because you hate the outside world
you are just afraid to hurt more

because when you hurt so much
you will hate and poisoned your own mind
and eventually you will also suffer
therefore you just protect yourself first

in this world, there are still plenty of nice people
only few would have ill-intentions toward you
be strong first, if you want to be nice
so the hatred would not be present.

you would not be able to “not hating”
if you are not strong.
Hatred is a symbol of weakness,
for not being able to have an open heart.

my silence, my most time of being alone,
because i was surrounded by those who hates