in this life i was drunken by ideality
i swallow bitterness in hoping for sweet ending
who knows once i step back, i never get back to where i stand
therefore can only move on, singing the songs when i was young
step by step your lonely image chasing the wind is getting blurred
who knows once i thought that sincerest smile turns into rainy cloud
once it settles down, may be you will see things clearer
from the beginning til the end, i love you just like becoming dusts.
put down all my belongings, put down all that is mine.
my feelings, my thoughts, my existence
i don’t even stay in any realm.
1, 2 STEPS
ah i am going crazy
living in these lies
i’m gonna turning back,
even there’s no u-turn
green light, red light hits me
the clown cannot clean his face mask
rain, tears, drowning him, suffocated by his own lies
so don’t,. don’t take the highway
why do you stand there ?
refuse to come to me ?
is it better there ?
am i standing on a pitiful place ?
no matter how many white clouds up on the sky
i guess the dark night paint them all black
if to cry, eyes turn red, sky turns blood
God is one, but He is like two-faced coin.
getting used to believe He is good, all good.
there will be times I believe I am wrong.
It is not about good or bad,
it is about deserve or not deserve.
she is crying inside, no matter how he is trying to cheer her up
his sounds are just like that penetrates the concrete walls.
let the fallen buried deep in a hunger mountains
keep the ashes intact from soaring up to the sky
to be in such state of devastation
suspicious mind, worse than the strangers
wind blows my anger to everywhere it pleased
leave me with these walls with ears.
low, keep low
slow the heartbeat
bow, keep bowing
to the centre of the heart
to the beyond i throw my sight in silence
passing your lifetimes
it is not a waiting for someone
it is a waiting until everything empty and dispersed,
how come turn into this, this vast distance separated us,
how could i have let it happened until this far ?
how could we hurt each other like this,
do you remember how we’d ever wanted to protect each other?
i wish there is another story of us,
wild years of youth, we broke all the odds,
we took another road, all paths together,
will life would so much easier for us then ?
it’s hard to listen to my own cries,
it’s hard to make the tears stop flowing
i put down your hanged photo, my walls are all clean now
burned all your notes, gifts, belongings, all become dusts
how come there’s no light, the sky is always monochrome since you’re left
i feel want to end this journey soon, this lifetime seems plain and dead
walking down the streets, their laughter, argues, echos til the night falls
so i sing alone, until only illusions of day and night fly in and out.
there are times
i really just want to be alone.
i think…most times.
i often daydreaming
living in a secluded place, remote area,
safe, sound, the air is clean and vegetation is pure.
as if i’m looking at the vast night sky,
no boundaries, infinite darkness
and then, i keep all for myself,
death is like bringing nothing to a great rocky desert of mourning
while alive is like walking under the burning sun of desires.
all for myself,
karma bearer of its own maker,
be happy, you, a free and selfless soul.