question about the beginning and the ending

here comes the flying train, takes away the fresh human meats, from horizons to horizons
hide myself underneath the earth but they won’t let any breath remains
but i am conscious, next time must put turn conscience off
so they won’t tear me into pieces

after many years passed, a decade, a century,
enough time to heal the pain and terror,
as if living in a dream and still dreaming about things we pleasure about
only to find out the future is nonetheless same old but brand new tragedy

close my ears, crying outloud with teary eyes,
maybe this observable universe is only as wide as our mind could reach
whatever has a beginning, must has an ending,
but how, if there’s only ending, would you bother about how it had all started ?

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dealing with aging

day by day i feel more and more parts of me diminishing

it’s my time on earth.

mother ever said that life is just like a dream
when i was child i thought it was just another beautiful poem about life-
but now i feel it is a real experience
because slowly i realize the things i used to fight for,
they don’t really matter.

like …
who’s right? who’s wrong?
that person hurt me, why ?
i will make that person pay-
this is mine, i shall have my share.
i don’t care about you,
you should just mind your own business…
you know … such things …

a monk ever said, isn’t life’s most beautiful thing is to breath ?
i used to think he’s just love to make things looks simple,
but apparently, i realize life is truly that simple,
be grateful to be alive, and cherish every lives.

if someone you knew well had taken thru the road,
either that person will wait for you at the end of the road or not,
even the strangest path, would be less unfamiliar with,
just because, you know everyone must walk thru that road,
and don’t bother to debate what’s next.

until the end of life

until now i do not know, and i will never believe the truth if not witnessing it myself.

since it’s impossible to turn back time, be there on the spot, therefore i should not pursuing the truth anymore.

that my heart hurt, and still left a mark until now, however it is gone once i leave this world, so, this mark doesn’t mean a lot anymore.

that you might hate me, it was your choice, i don’t want to think about it.

that your heart might broken more into pieces than me, that you might blame yourself, i completely feel sorry for you, but, i tell you, all doesn’t matter once we leave this world and we should prepare for it.

the detailed things on “how could you”, and “did it has any other reasons behind”, even so, the result stayed the same. irreversible things were regretful, but how deep our understanding on them ?

the detailed other things such as, “since when”, and “did that really necessary”, also didn’t change the ending for whatever answers you gave me.

Born in the different place, different time; meet in a fateful situation, aimed to live for a lifetime commitment, but who could predict the ending, as nothing last forever. The ending gonna be, we died on different place, different time, same mourns.

Thru good and bad, ups and downs, I will only take the beautiful memories into my graveyard. And these beautiful memories would also die, along with me.

Therefore, just for a half life, it was enough for me to be thankful. If we do not like the ending, then only in dreams we could fix it. Reality is, nothing to fixed, life is just like that.

Not hoping for a miracle, just enough being grateful for the good things in the bad times.

 

sadness. overflow.

why am i like this ?
overtaken by sadness,
asking heaven when there would be another falling star
like the one i’d seen in my childhood.

when you have nothing but the only little faith
there is no right and wrong, there is only a process of cause and effect,
solely based on this, i traveled forever
hoping someday could stop the cause, strong enough turning sadness into understanding.

understand living in this world is to learn about sincerity and compassion.
understanding sincerity and compassion as the only thing my heart could be light on.

pitiful and miracle.

i am pitying myself because i am pitiful.

life is pitiful anyway, for those who failed to search for happiness and give up to.

actually my life isn’t pitiful because i never give up. note this, “giving up” is different from “letting go”.

i often let go of things once i feel suffer from clinging onto them. then, only by letting go, everything’s getting better. it works like that naturally.

back to the topic “pitiful”.

maybe no one have a pity on me, not because they are heartless, and also not because i am also not that pitiful, it’s just i don’t need a pity from anyone.

i did wrong, i regret. i commit wrongdoings, i try to correct them. if fail, i repent and do not repeat. i would accept the consequences, with or without tears, i understand whether in whatever state, pitiful or normal, i must guide myself thru this heart: think simple, clean, and sincere. have a compassion and be diligent.

lately situations got out of control. i dunno why friends less caring about me. there is a person who seems to spread that virus but whether this is truth or not, i cannot really control it.

first, because i have a conscience i did no wrong to all of them. but of course, i will more and more watch this mouth, action, and mind.

second, because i have lost my loved one, and one by one they would leave me someday. therefore, while my loved ones still there, why would i care about merely “friends” ? life and death are like that, naturally happens, we should cherish while can.

third, i often repeat this: right or wrong, it is only a process of cause and effect. so do not hate, control your mouth and anger, focus your mind and be calm.

cool.

but … i do believe in miracle. we deserve miracle because we have a good karma. like i have said before, as soon as you let go your heart burden, you will get a free space to fill it with good things, including a miracle.

miracle is not perfect, but they always could make you smile and grateful.

 

 

 

people. people.

the last 1,000 years ago
and the next 1,000 years ahead
the grey sky always pours its rains
the wind blows across sea and mountains

i am at this moment now,
just like a people in the past
and so a people in the future
people come and go, nothing stays

the strong earth would eventually lost
because its people won’t last forever
rays of light escapes and settles
creating darkness, lighting hopes

where do you take it, dear wind of life,
when you blow the fire and it flies with you

acceptance

as we grow older, we are able to accept more unwanted results from the well-planned actions and strategies.
there are actually lot of things would not turn out as expected, no matter how hard you try, how smart you play, and how siincere you pray.
now to think about it, as a human being, I can only control my efforts, mind, and heart. whatever will be happen, those are beyond my reach.
as the lifespan of mine shortened day by day, there are lots of things to let go, day by day.