so many words i would like to say, like a volcano i want to say rude words to that person.
also, so many words i would like others to listen, like a flood drowning the whole city.
however … isn’t Buddha said we must watch our mouth?
since the result would be hurtful to myself as well, then it is worth to keep silent.
be patient, hold your tears a moment and then let it flows
why punish yourself with others’ misconducts ?
living in this world is filled with ups and downs,
myself must take a lead, live with my fate, aim for my destiny.
so at least tonight, i will meet you
but before to tell you many things
i prefer hear more about you
because my beautiful story is about you.
but still, i need to write this down,
i refuse to be the chained dog,
thou cannot escape the fate of being a dog,
but a least i could run when i want to run.
cos lately people are weird,
people with the same level of morality will gather in a group
and trying to put some pressure on others,
spread their model of ego, greed, and ignorance.
i am fascinated by you, who eventually shape myself
most times i bit my tongue, no matter how many words to say
most times i hold my pencil and sketch your face
to escape from the reality where my world is shrinking.
so what ?
i am living myself peacefully, for this time being
i refuse to hate, refuse to talk about it, refuse to become like them
i choose to be silent, stay low, and keep thinking about you,
someday we will step on the finish line and all i care is,
until then, lets not forget each other, lets cherish each other.
you are that matters for me.
The scenery above and beyond is surrounded by think layered mists, layer by layer;
I am afraid to see the sun refuses to shine today, even we always see the sunset in dawns;
I am not afraid to die, if it has to die, just die and go like that, however,
the uncertainty and endless painful, somehow spreading its tears and breaking the faith among us.
So ungrateful of my thoughts, sighing to myself why I were born from the start if we all are going to die,
through whole-time pains and sufferings, temporary moments of joy and happiness only.
So uneasy for me to make myself believe the purpose of life, as if they define God, Heaven and hell,
witness compassion and caring could be so wrong, surrounded by blood, lust, greed and hatred.
I want to be silent, less care, less worry-will it make me a worse person?
I want to take control and lead my destiny-is it possible if being chained by ignorance and laziness?
In the end I just want to become a wind–but even this thought is stuck in a humid box, unclean and unwanted.
Human beings, living in this world, with their vary skills on the stage, to whom they shown it, how deep ego was fed up?
They told me to be patient, but I am becoming an ignorant patient.
when you are sad
everything is bitter
you become quiet
alone cry in silent
when you are angry
but don’t know what to do
afraid later only regret
still unable to do anything
your fingers numb
your palms become rough
tears flow and bite your lips hard
trembled voice tells you to pray and be patient
never loose hope yet never rush anything
up front sea, up above sky, vast and distance
may your mind and heart forever open and at ease.