to my loved ones

my happiness is a fake one,
because it hides a fear of loosing you.

i can endure suffers for you,
until our last breath, so i will have no regret

but right now my tears falling down,
time tells me to get prepare for this upcoming years

several years ago, because of my ego
i cannot stay with someone i loved til the last breath
now, i must press this ego hard
so i would cry less sad tears.

 

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ordinary people and grateful

how good is the “ordinary people” ?

“ordinary people”, they commit wrongdoings, but never really fundamentals. they do not kill, do not steal, do not spread hatred, do not spread hoaxes, do not cheat on their lover, stay loyal to one beloved person. Do not indulge themselves in alcohol, drugs, and other heavy addictions. Stay calm, kind, and humble.

Just ordinary.

They do not achieve big, not a looser but surely not a successful billionaire. They do not bring major changes, either for good or for bad, just stay as straight as possible.

Sometimes they fall, but never broken. Sometimes they fly, but always get back to the ground.

Their existences filled the ordinary days, ordinary life.

And I see nothing wrong with it, yet it is actually a right thing, beautiful.

Just like riding a car on a narrow road,  noticed you’ve driven halfway from home and you cannot turn back but move on, even if you would like to come back, you gotta take the remaining road first.

Just like this circle of life.

Reincarnation or another, it’s just another road, another story, another character.

To love you more, seems shallow. But that is what I would carry it into my graveyard, hold it until my final breath.

In this life, to be able to meet you has already a great blessing.

If memories won’t be forgotten, time never see me grow old; then no matter how long the road, how many aeons to pass, I won’t understand how grateful I am for meeting you in this lifetime.

remembering the past.

why all of sudden i fall into deep valley of sadness
the images of the departed persons fill my mind
they had done this, they had gone thru that, such thoughts
the sky above is far and away, i lay under the sheet of reluctance

the sea of regrets is borderless, abundant of ‘what if’ and ‘if only’
writing some names i would like to know more
drawing their smiles, greeting them in my dream
i want to, i need to know, how to constitute this conscience

in the end i end up weeping my tears over and over
and day goes by and by, a year, another year,
as i’ve seen the road, i can only walk according to the path beyond,
even with eyes closed, the heartbeat will calmly guide my footsteps.

good impression, pure intention.

how many reincarnation needed, to clean up bad karmas
therefore later i can meet you with a good impression, pure intention

even everyone in this world pointed their fingers on me,
i wished you would believe me, even without a proof, just believe this person, me.
but you didn’t. you give up on me.

i ever promised you won’t let you go for whatever reason,
but because of this, using this reason,
i let you give up on me. i didn’t beg you not to. i let you, so both of us could be free.

who is right, who is wrong, i do not want to identify this anymore
we live our life like this, we choose to be like this, we walk our own path til the end
eventually the path leads to separation, who knows it would be like this ? but it is not that bad.

i would rather you never weep for me, i would never weep for you
lets clean each other’s entangled fate, cut the red string,
many many years later, thru reincarnations, meeting you, may only good impression, pure intention.

 

 

 

 

deleting…

it’s funny a minute you surrounded yourself with joyful aura but next minute turned to be sorrowful.

nothing last forever, some last only a minute or less.

i believe, once i hold tight and won’t let it go, however there is a must to let it go, someday. with or without my concern, with or without my approval, if to go, just go.

it is just funny how it seems God played on us, but “He” actually had warned us before.

i’m not sad, thou people might see i am fall into pieces.

i’m not crying, thou it seems i’m all wet.

it’s just … trying to simplify my needs, to cope with so many losses in life.

 

 

people. people.

the last 1,000 years ago
and the next 1,000 years ahead
the grey sky always pours its rains
the wind blows across sea and mountains

i am at this moment now,
just like a people in the past
and so a people in the future
people come and go, nothing stays

the strong earth would eventually lost
because its people won’t last forever
rays of light escapes and settles
creating darkness, lighting hopes

where do you take it, dear wind of life,
when you blow the fire and it flies with you