until the end of life

until now i do not know, and i will never believe the truth if not witnessing it myself.

since it’s impossible to turn back time, be there on the spot, therefore i should not pursuing the truth anymore.

that my heart hurt, and still left a mark until now, however it is gone once i leave this world, so, this mark doesn’t mean a lot anymore.

that you might hate me, it was your choice, i don’t want to think about it.

that your heart might broken more into pieces than me, that you might blame yourself, i completely feel sorry for you, but, i tell you, all doesn’t matter once we leave this world and we should prepare for it.

the detailed things on “how could you”, and “did it has any other reasons behind”, even so, the result stayed the same. irreversible things were regretful, but how deep our understanding on them ?

the detailed other things such as, “since when”, and “did that really necessary”, also didn’t change the ending for whatever answers you gave me.

Born in the different place, different time; meet in a fateful situation, aimed to live for a lifetime commitment, but who could predict the ending, as nothing last forever. The ending gonna be, we died on different place, different time, same mourns.

Thru good and bad, ups and downs, I will only take the beautiful memories into my graveyard. And these beautiful memories would also die, along with me.

Therefore, just for a half life, it was enough for me to be thankful. If we do not like the ending, then only in dreams we could fix it. Reality is, nothing to fixed, life is just like that.

Not hoping for a miracle, just enough being grateful for the good things in the bad times.

 

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raining inside heart

she walks with her barefoot, across the streets and bridges
under the sky, she finds an abandoned garden
sit there, she remembers some pieces of bittersweet memories
whispers to herself, “not bad, isn’t it?”

for all the experiences,
chances she’d taken, failed or succeeded
chances she’d not taken, regretted or grateful
let them go, one by one

how spacious she must build a house for herself
to save all her belongings
how far she must go
to see the world
how deep she must dig
to bury all her sorrows
how long she must wait the rain to stop
inside her heart, it is raining as well.

white lights

it’s a white light and he crawled from darkness because of seeing it
his hand was pulled by an old man without identity,
he sailed across the ocean to seek what life could challenge him,

somewhere along the way, i was caught up in the blindness of the white light
under the stairway to heaven, i refuse to crawled up,
believe there is another heaven suits me more

a long waiting, the painful efforts, an empty meaning of everything
thought he could pass by and i can board his ship,
but it seems he is turning into the white light himself.

so i lost my intention to follow this white light.

if only one day, he becomes the old man without identity.